Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Behind the Times

I started blogging in 2002 when blog and blogging were both relatively new words to the dictionary.  My purpose for blogging then was to chronicle the life I was living overseas away from family, and how the Father was working in my life.  I continued to write on that blog until 2007 when I moved back to the states.  After the move back, I struggled and so I stopped writing on such a public forum.  This is the way my life works--my writing works--I have to step back to process.  It doesn't mean that I'm not writing, it just means I'm not writing on the blog.  

I picked up blogging again in 2009 when my husband and I moved overseas. The blog I started in 2002 was erased, so I had to start at a totally new one.  And then.  I didn't know what to write about.  The first time one goes overseas, everything is so new and fresh.  The second time?  Not so much.  My husband was experiencing culture shock of the extreme kind---"Why do bikes ride on sidewalks, and run the people over?"  and "Where is the personal space for me on this bus?" and "Bleck, he just spit on the sidewalk in front of me?"  and "Oh wow, that public toilet stinks."  And the second year was better, but the first year we worked on surviving and learning how to go places.  That blog still has it's own space that is separate from this one.  

In 2011, we returned to the states, and I started this space.  But I noticed something---the trends in blogs were changing, and people changed their blog space frequently to represent themselves and sometimes the company they had started.  I've had several blogs that I've continued to frequent through the years, some written by friends and others written by people I've never met.  Some written so beautifully well that one cannot help but awe at the talent God blesses friends with, and other chronicling a life story and journey.  Both types I find encouraging because I know I'm on a journey, in the midst of my own story.  Sometimes just trying to survive, sometimes rejoicing in hope, but always looking for the thread of redemption that runs through the story.  For the hope.  For the truth of the gospel that runs deep.

Now I see a new trend in blogging to use one's own name to label the blog, the works, the books.  And I rejoice with the dear sisters who have made it big in the blogging world.  They have worked and given and learned.  

My own lack of time contrast greatly with the days when I used to post something  My header, good grief, is still from when I was pregnant with my son.  And my most popular post of all time is how to make homemade baby wipe solution.  (I had to giggle when I saw it pinned on pinterest....because I don't know how to use pinterest nor how to use twitter.)  So yes, I'm behind, but I'm okay with that most of the time, and when I'm not I have to adjust my attitude.  

2013 came and went, and I can't say I made any resolutions for 2014.  I've picked the 'one word' in the past, but this year two words came to mind, one was held and one was healing.  And that's where I'm at. I've been at this blogging thing for awhile but find that my real life right now is taking much more time and energy to live and so even though there is much to process, the blogging kind of goes by the wayside.

So here are some things I've started again in 2014:

Organizing.  Nothing like a move to make one purge and organize.  (We moved mid-December.)

Scrapbooking.  Now that I have space for it, I've been putting my pictures in order.

Reading.  Presently working on Alan Paton's Cry, the Beloved Country for the second time. 
My hope to read list includes:  (but I'm kind of slow)
  • Surprised by Motherhood by Lisa Jo Baker
  • Quiet by Susan Cain
  • Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey
  • A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman
  • 7:An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker
  • The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis (for the 8th time...)
  • How Should We Then Live by Francis Schaeffer
Cooking.  We're trying a few new recipes every week here at our house in hopes of finding a new favorites and also to prevent taste bud boredom.

Resting and naps.  It's good for the body to get to bed a little earlier than night owl time, and to sneak a nap during the day.  I suppose running after a 20 month old helps to tire one out.

How long have you been blogging?  Why do you blog?  
Me first.  ;)  I've been blogging for almost twelve years.  It helps me to process my world.  I've met some of the neatest people through the platform of blogging, some of them I consider my 'virtual sisters'.  ;)


Friday, January 24, 2014


Psalms 119:50
This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has revived me."

Grief, sorrow, hope and pain all mingled into one utter gut groan with no words but many tears.  Grief sometimes seems to swallow one up, and overwhelmingly cloak one in a heavy garment.  I can understand why C.S. Lewis equates grief to something like fear.

"You are mine, I hold you," I heard a voice speak to my spirit.
I turned over, bumped my husband and said, "God just spoke to me."
"What did he say?"
"He said that I was His, and He holds me.  I know you are sceptical about these kinds of things, but I know it was God.  Those words couldn't have come from me,"
"You're probably right," he said.  He knew the days and the nights I'd had.
"He reminded you of His words, of His promises," he tells me.
"Yes."  I turned on my side, cried, and slept folded in peace for the first night in several weeks.
 He came in the quiet, and spoke His words to my soul. 
God with me.  God for me.  God loves me.
And yet in pain I doubt His goodness, His love.  

I need this God-who-loves-me.  Not another set of rules telling me how I need to behave or a set of codes to heed to so that I can be considered a Christian.
Because isn't being a Christian about 'being' in Christ?
The work He has done for me is final; it obliterates my need to prove myself or to show others that I am worthy of position or love.
His love should drive me to rest in Him. 

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