3 days ago
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Resurrection. Hope. Life. Control. The last time I was sick and felt like this I had a flight to catch, a Mom to hold and cry with, and a graveside to stand by. All of that seemed to overshadow the fact that I'd developed cholestatsis, other than the all-over body itch. "There is joy in new birth, " they comforted. But how do you give birth under the shadow of death? When the heart is sad there is only one consolation.
"We sorrow not as those that have no hope," it says. Sorrow can shake the bones, but it cannot not fracture faith. It reaches to that part of the heart where we can push grief and hide it. Activities can only cloud grief for a time. It lessens and fades, but there are times when it comes roaring back, undiminished in it's fierceness. Especially birthdays and holidays. Though I would not wish my sister back with all her struggles, Easter and resurrection have special meaning to me this year.
The first time after the funeral back with the body of Christ, I could not contain my tears. The songs about resurrection and death defeated barely croaked out as tears ran down my cheeks. As I held my baby in my arms last night, I remember singing them over her and praying for her life while simultaneously worrying about labor and induction. The past few months have blurred that with the colic and night wakings. But it does good to remember the Giver and Taker gives good gifts, and He can be trusted with life, and with death.
He, who with death conquered our sin and invites us to inherit his Kingdom. He, who promises to resurrect our bodies and give us new ones that are not tainted by sin. He, who is making and promises to make all things new. He is risen!