Friday, June 14, 2013

In the End, Words, In the End, Life

I read something this week, something about how it was easier to build up a child than to repair an adult. Somehow I think people walk around daily hoping we are doing something of worth as a person.  Carefully writing something that people will remember,  reading books written by thoughtful authors and thinking quiet thoughts, speaking words of love and truth.  But what if, what if? What if I  knew my worth wasn't based on what I do and don't do by in my position as a child of God?  What if I grasped the truth that I am completely and totally accepted minus all my achievements?  Because you know, I'm not sure that anyone remembers the titles or accolades except me.  They are past history. 

People will always compare.  Houses. Websites. Titles.  Jobs. Family. Photos. And on and on and on.  Somewhere in all the comparing I don't want to measure up. I don't want to write anymore if it means I'll be compared to some author; I want to write my own writing, to be my own me.  And I don't need the title, I don't go by the title or author or editor or writer.  The hardest job I've ever taken on is the one that is 24-7 has the title of Mom.  Some days we dance through the day with my hair pulled back in a thick curly bun at the nape of my neck, other days I put on flip flops and he runs through grass while I water the garden.  How is it others may look at my life and be tempted to compare? How is it I am tempted to compare my life to yours?

 Fresh eggs, after all, they say are the best for your family.  And we have hens.  The mailman told my husband that in his next life he was going to marry an Amish woman.  I guess that means he liked my novel diapers hanging in a row on a clothesline.  We live down a dirt road next to a field of wheat.  For the prairie girl at heart I'm sure this area is a dream.  I have allergies, oh the irony,  and most days struggle not to have some form of bloodshot eyes, and have finally found a bit of a remedy for the runny nose.  Sneezes, can't control them.  Better watch out. But this is life.  Allergies, wheat fields, clotheslines, and chickens. 

But when I see his feet run through the grass, and the breeze take his walker tumbling across the front yard, I know this is my life.  This is our life.  We aren't promised tomorrow for a better go at it, or the next day for a do-over.  When my washed hair (to -ahem-remove the outdoor pollen) hits the pillow and I close my eyes at night I hope I've lived the day with a spirit of thankfulness for this life and what I've been given.   When the car gives out at the corner and I have to walk home, I hope I live that life is more than cars and going and personal freedom.  My heart always return to the place I love best, and my feet follow.  Home.

(And according to my Mother-in-law I've made some progress towards becoming a pioneer woman.  I'm just not sure I have wagon to go with the title. I'm pretty sure I have a wok, though.  And a car. It doesn't drive presently so I'll be walking.)

5 comments:

  1. There is such beauty in choosing to accept the life we have as a complete gift. Reading this just made me smile a hundred times...what a beautiful life you have. What a beautiful one I have, too. There's so much thankfulness in my heart today. Blessings, friend...hope you are well. And I love that picture of you and your sweet boy...you are both gorgeous.

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  2. Thanks, Mel. You are right...there is much beauty in contentment. ;)

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  3. "I hope I've lived the day with a spirit of thankfulness..."
    A beautiful phrase. I join you on this journey of accepting -embracing- life as it is. Lovely words.

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    1. Thanks, Carrie. Contentment and giving thanks...it is a daily choice for me and I don't always succeed. But life is beautiful as it is and I risk missing that. Hope you are enjoying summer! ;)

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  4. Hi Lisa, how are you? Thank you for sharing words that inspire rest and contentment. Comparing is a trap, isn't it? And it seems to be one we battle life-long. I haven't been writing much this month - sensing a need for a break - and it's been refreshing. To have my mind swirling with thoughts that are just between me and my God - a lot of times my husband, too. And I realize I don't need to share everything on my heart. There's an intimacy with God He's jealous for. And in that I've been finding these things you've written of. Peace in the gift of life. Pleasures in living the now for Him. Freedom from the accolades of others. And being accepted by Him just as I am, being loved completely in spite of all I do or didn't do, it's a gift I NEED. So I hear you. And I agree. And I hear the contentment in your heart and the joy for the gifts of God. Anyway, once again, sorry I've been absent, lately. I'm definitely inconsistent with my social media. But I'm always blessed when visiting your blog. Blessings, friend.

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